As many of you know, my beloved Boo decided to leave his physical body not too long ago.
These past few weeks forced me to re-evaluate my faith in some beliefs I had regarding death and soul contracts.
I believe and know - from my intuitive connections with animals - that animals and humans plan to spend a certain period of time together, based on what the souls want to experience during a specific lifetime.
As part of these contracts, there are also “exit points” planned by the animal's soul before their earthly experience.
As it seems, over the course of their life, animals choose, at the soul level, whether they’ll use a specific exit point when they reach it.
Their decision is usually based on the current situation, what’s going on in the life of their humans, the state of their physical body, the lessons learned... or not, and other factors specific to their life.
And as it seems, an animal’s decision to transition is not based on what “we” would choose, but rather, on what “their soul” considers the “best” time and conditions to shed their physical body.
So when my beloved Boo decided that it was time for him to transition, I must say that what seemed to be true didn’t make much sense all of a sudden.
I challenged my own beliefs, thoughts and actions. I cursed such process and the whole universe, and swore that l'd never believe in Source ever again!
Just like many of my clients, in the depths of grief, I took it hard and somehow, personally.
The day of Boo’s passing, I had scheduled an euthanasia at home for the upcoming Friday.
His health was not that good, he had trouble walking, his heart was sick.
His quality of life and dignity formed the basis of my decision.
I knew we were on borrowed time, and that the inevitable was coming...
My intent was to have a few days with Boo to prepare... if it’s even possible to prepare for such event.
I knew I could cancel anytime and postpone the heartbreaking moment, if for some magical reasons, his health was to improve.
I wanted to spoil him... even though I had spent the past four years doing just that!
I had also made sure to give him his marching orders... he knew he could NOT transition alone.
I had to be there.
I wanted to hold him in my arms, just like I had done with Annabelle and Oscar.
I wanted him to feel loved and at peace during his transition.
Oh boy was I wrong!
That very same night, his condition deteriorated very quickly.
At the emergency, Boo had to be carried inside.
And because of COVID, I was stuck outside. I felt so lost and helpless.
Despite my insistence to accompany him, I was told that the only circumstance when people were allowed inside was for the euthanasia of their pet.
Standing outside, I watched Boo disappear behind closed doors.
A few minutes later, the vet called me.
Still standing right outside the door, looking through the window hoping that I would see him, she told me that there was very little that could be done to save my boy.
As I was making the decision to go ahead with the euthanasia, the vet asked me to hold the line for a minute...
She came back a few seconds later to announce that Boo had already passed.
Even today, as I write those lines, I can still hear myself screaming “NO”!!!!!
I just couldn’t believe that my boy had “decided” to transition WITHOUT me!
It was as if my heart and head had just exploded.
I could barely see nor hear anything.
I just couldn’t believe it.
We had been together almost 24/7 from the very moment I’d rescued him, and now he was gone.
He’d decided to leave without me!
While I do understand why he transitioned the way he did it, at times, it’s still quite the challenge to accept his decision.
I know he had been preparing me the couple weeks before his passing. I could see it, I could feel it... but I didn't want it to be true.
The few extra days I wanted to have with him, he had already given them to me.
I know that in wanting to protect me, he chose to transition quickly.
I know he didn’t want me to spend the days before his “planned” passing wondering and crying.
I know he didn’t want me having to give the permission for the final injection...
So, he did it quickly.
I was told later that night that Boo was not alone when he left his physical body. Several vet techs and vets were around him, comforting him, and encouraging him to hold on until I could be taken to him.
I do wish things had been very different.
But I have faith in animals’ wisdom, and my boy was wise beyond measure!
I also know that animals don’t see death the way we - humans - do.
They see such transitions as part of a cycle that is not bad nor good, it just is.
I know my boy has always been, and will always be there for me.
I know he has always protected me, and I know he did it until the very end.
I know his love for me transcends words, time and space.
And although his presence is more subtle now, I know he is still right here with me.
Until we meet again my love... xoxo