A few weeks ago, I found the courage to book a photoshoot... not because I wanted but because I needed new pictures for my website. While it may sound like a very common and easy task, for me it represented hell. Yup, nothing less!
I knew since last Spring that I would need those photos but I dragged my feet and convinced myself that I was waaaayyyy too busy to do it. After all, who would water my fence, organize my utensils alphabetically or sort my cereal boxes by fiber content if I were to spend an hour smiling at a camera?
Yeah right! Who has time for that non-sense anyway!?
So for months, I literally tortured myself:
-- Who do you think you are?
-- You’re going to scare the hell out of people with those pictures! Don’t do that!
-- You’re too old for that!
-- It’s too much money, you have bills to pay... remember!?
-- Oh boy sweetie, you’re not getting any younger!
-- Only Boo can find you cute... you’re doomed!
You get the gist?!
For months, every Sunday night while planning my week, I had good intentions so I wrote down “photoshoot” at the top of my “to do list”. For weeks, I kept rewriting the same word while hoping that one day, I would find the courage to do it.
I have never liked having my picture taken. I have never liked the way I looked on a photograph even when the image was blurry! Forget the high quality camera! For me, seeing myself on a photograph was an illustration - some sort of confirmation - of all my flaws. And really, who needs this?!
It's interesting that even before the event actually happened, my mind had already decided that it would be bad... that it would not be fun... that I would suck at it... that I would look ugly and miserable, etc. All these ideas were being broadcasted from my past at no charge!
I couldn’t help but wonder... how many times in my life had I fallen for such imaginary worst-case scenario??!
How many times do we decide of an outcome before it actually happens?!
Thanks to the most primitive part of our brain, the same one that used to protect us from prehistoric bears and dragons, we are wired to expect and prepare for the worst-case scenarios. We pack our basements with packages of toilet paper, containers of laundry detergent and cans of beans. You must admit, we - human beings - are very good at preparing for when the shit hits the fan! It’s deep in our DNA and we are proud of our organizational skills and our sense of preparedness.
Very rarely, do we expect the good stuff to happen... because you know, we live in the “real world” and in this world, we have to work our ass off since good things only happen in movies.
According to quantum physics, there is a field of infinite possibilities accessible to us and we have the choice as to what we want to focus on... in other words... what we want to attract in our life experience. It is our choice. The scary thing is that if we are not present enough and aware of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, we will continue to accept guidance from our old belief system and continue to expect and attract the less desired outcome.
The day of the photoshoot I had lots of things to do. And to make things worst, I had not slept well the night before so I was tired and my eyes were puffy and droopy! Yeah, talk about a catch!!
It was therefore the perfect timing for my old fears and self limited-talk to team up and take me down. I was an easy target... busy, tired, hungry, 95% of humidity outside (if you have curly hair you’ll get it!) and not happy at all with the idea of having my picture taken.
I was doing some serious calculations to see if I could afford a nap when I got the strong knowing that I should sit and meditate instead. My mind tried to resist the idea... but I decided to follow that guidance. I sat down, closed my eyes and let go of my busy thoughts. Because my body is so used to access that quiet space now, it took me no time to get into the zone.
In fact, all it took was 15 minutes.
When I opened my eyes, I felt like a new person. I was well rested and weirdly enough, my puffy eyes were back to their normal appearance! Thanks to that new state of mind, I had access to higher frequency thoughts and feelings... I then remembered that the photoshoot was not only for my head shots but also because I wanted to live that experience with Boo... and show the whole world how handsome he is!
And because like attracts like... Boo and I had a wonderful time! The photographer was very friendly and easygoing, I felt quite at ease and had lots of energy, and Boo was all smily and chilled (the usual!!). The energy was so great during the session that you can feel it in the pictures!
So what were my lessons in this situation?
-- The best way to recreate past experiences is to take advice from our memories.
-- We have the power to select our thoughts and feelings and consequently... our future experiences.
-- By centering myself through meditation and not falling back to my past conditioning, I lifted my energy and therefore attracted high level experiences.
So today I am very grateful to have all those nice pictures of me and Boo. And this new memory and experience have now replace the old ones. Next time, I will have a positive anchor I can rely on.